Managing the Waves of Life

Can you relate to this? So many of us can.

Emotions cause reactions in our bodies, but so often we are telling ourselves everything is fine. We often want it to be ok even when it’s not. Feeling the emotions can be overwhelming and sometimes frightening. It’s sort of like attempting to stand still in the ocean as a way to brace yourself against the waves. You predictably get knocked down time after time.

The answer with the waves — and the emotions — is to dive through them. Let them come. Feel them deeply. Let them go. Come out the other side. And always remember another wave is on its way. Rinse & repeat. Stability comes from continually shifting your balance to adjust.

Feeling Deeply

When I worked in Hollywood making TV/films I was motivated by a desire to help people feel emotions. Movies are a safe way to start emotional regulation. You can vicariously feel emotions of the characters and learn to navigate those emotions without them being directly connected to your life. It’s sort of like sitting on the beach and watching others out there in the waves.

But life is life. You sit there watching and suddenly you find the tide has risen and the waves are coming at you.

Most people live a life where they control their emotions, until they can’t. The deeper emotions are scary AND also amazing. The depth of the lows you’ve felt allow you to soar just a high in opposition. So if you’re trying to keep the negative emotions away, you’re also suppressing the positive ones.

Feeling multiple emotions simultaneously is normal and common. Like “bittersweet,” life rarely falls into just one emotion at a time. The more you allow yourself to feel, the more you understand the depth of what your emotions communicate with you non-verbally. This takes patience & practice.

Finding Balance

Once you learn to dive deep into the emotions, and know how to come out on the other side, it’s time to learn to ride the waves. Let them carry you to a rich and full emotional life. Balance is not a static place – the currents of life are not steady. It takes constant adjustments to keep your balance. This is hard, but doable, work.

Yoga

When yoga found me at 18 years old, I learned that all emotions were welcome on the yoga mat. Not just allowed, but encouraged. Yoga allows you to process emotions and let the practice support you. When you practice a balance pose in yoga you are not just doing it to be better at yoga, you are practicing on the mat so when you walk off the mat you can apply what you learned to your life. When a wave feels like it is going to knock you down, your whole system remembers it knows how to balance.

The Importance of Knowing How to Regulate Emotions

I wish I had learned more emotional regulation as a child, but being a product of the 80’s, feelings weren’t talked about much at all. Growing up, I became a life long learner, seeking out knowledge on how to support my own system. That in turn helps me educate those around me to find their balance as well. I always see a positive impact but it is incredibly obvious in my work with children. Kids brains are like sponges, and these skills are meant to be learned when you’re young. It is just as important as your ABC’s & 123’s. I hear all the time from the kids and parents how much of a difference this makes.

We all know about the importance of IQ, but it’s also important to develop your EQ (Emotional Quotient) Having high Emotional Intelligence gives you the ability to understand and manage your own emotions and allows you to recognize them in others. Many people say EQ is becoming more important than IQ. I just heard a speaker at Elevate Cody say that EQ is exciting because you have the ability to change and improve it (if you choose to work on it) throughout your life where as IQ remains static no matter what you do. I love this idea because it puts you in the drivers seat, controlling the energy you bring to your life. 

Join Me

Check my Events page for any upcoming events or meet with me individually. Emotional regulation can be very personal and might feel too heavy in a group setting, especially if you’ve never explored this kind of work before.

As a trauma informed teacher I bring emotional regulation into all that I do. I know it has the power allow you to heal, grow and live a better and more fulfilling life! That is my goal for all my clients.

This article is proudly sponsored by